You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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