i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
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The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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