I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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