I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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