yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
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I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
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He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I'm always down for nudity.
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