You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize