I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
one two three fourrrrnication!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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