I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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