If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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