All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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