and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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