you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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