How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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