Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
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I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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