My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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