i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
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Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
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I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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