I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Let's get the cat blown out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize