just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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