I'm jealous of your bromance
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
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Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
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I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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