I think scott just propositioned me for sex
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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