Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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