Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize