He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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