I just threw up on my dentist
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
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She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
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When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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