i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
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his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
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I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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