I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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