Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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