every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
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Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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