Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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