I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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