your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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