so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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