TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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