I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize