Your face is a jimmy john
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize