Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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