worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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