Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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