If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize