Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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