Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
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