i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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