So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize