Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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