I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
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I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
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Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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