my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
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The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
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Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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