i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
ttyl tear gas
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize