You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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