I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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