A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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